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In a weird repeat situation to this morning Finlay began to cry like his mother had done that morning. Whether it was me being paternal or something deeper I don’t know, but I pulled Finlay up and hugged him. As the hug went on he stopped crying and began to relax. Then he pulled back and looked at me, we kissed very briefly and then kissed again. The relief on his face was clear to see. My emotions were running wild. In my past I had been with guys, but nothing since I had met my wife and that was over 25 years ago. This time Finlay took the lead and laid me on the bed, he immediately began to take my shoes and socks off, then turned to my belt and trousers. Once they were off he carefully unbuttoned my shirt and ran his fingers through my chest hair saying how much he liked “bears”. With only my briefs on I lay there and watched as Finlay stood and slowly began to strip off all his clothes. As each piece came off he revealed more and more of his beautiful toned young body. Finally,. I cannot shake it off. I try to bury it. Deep inside me. The more I try not to think about it, the more it comes back. The more I feel it. I am transgender. I want to be a woman. I need to be a woman.Ever since high school, when I marvelled at lingerie models in the newspaper, pretending to pose like them, feeling jealous of the skirts and tights the girls in my class were wearing, dreaming of being a lesbian submissive, I have struggled to shake it off.I have bought dresses, lingerie, high heels, I have thrown them away. I have bought them again. Rinse, repeat. Once a crossdresser, always a crossdresser. So the online forums say. It never leaves you. But I am more than a crossdresser. I need to be female 24/7, 365. I need to change completely. I need to transform my body. My lower body has always been feminine, broad hips, shapely ass cheeks which respond well to gym work, petite feet and legs. My upper body is a mixed bag. I have always carried some fat on my chest, even when I have.
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